Text:
{Enter Actors}
Fool
Room, room, Brave gallants, give us room to sport,
For in this room we wish for to resort,
Resort, and to repeat you our merry rhyme,
For remember, good sirs, this is Christmas time.
The time to cut up goose-pies now doth appear,
So we are come to act our merry Christmas here,
At the sound of the trumpet, and beat of the drum,
Make room, brave gentlemen and let our actors come,
We are the merry actors that traverse the street;
We are the merry actors that fight for our meat,
We are the merry actors that show pleasant play,
Step in, Saint George, thou champion, and clear the way.
{Enter St. George}
Saint George
I am Saint George, who from old England sprung ;
My famous name throughout the world hath rung,
Many bloody deeds and wonders have I made known,
And made the tyrants tremble on their throne.
I followed a fair lady to a giant's gate,
Confined in dungeon deep to meet her fate ;
Then I resolved with true knight-errantry,
To burst the door, and set the prisoner free,
When a giant almost struck me dead,
But by my valour I cut off his head.
I've searched the word all round and round,
But a man to equal me I never found.
{Enter Slasher to St. George}
Slasher
I am a valiant soldier, and Slasher is my name,
With sword and buckler by my side I hope to win the game.
And for to fight with me I see thou art not able,
So with my trusty broad-sword I soon will thee disable.
Saint George
Disable! Disable! it lies not in thy power,
For with my glittering sword and spear I soon will thee devour.
Stand off! Slasher! let no more be said,
For if I draw my sword I'm sure to break thy head?
Slasher
How canst thou break my head?
Since it is made of iron,
And my body's made of steel,
My hand and feet of knuckle bone,
I challenge thee to field.
{The fight, and Slasher is wounded. Exit St. George}
{Enter Fool to Slasher}
Fool
Alas! alas! my chiefest son is slain,
What must I do to raise him up again?
Here he lies in the presence of you all ;
I'll lovingly for a doctor call.
{Aloud} A doctor! a doctor! ten pounds for a doctor.
I'll go and fetch a doctor. {Going}
{Enter Doctor}
Doctor
Here I am.
Fool
Are you the doctor?
Doctor
Yes ; that you may plainly see,
by my art and activity.
Fool
Well, what's your fee to cure this man?
Doctor
Ten pounds is my fee :
but jack, if thou be an honest man, I'll only take five of thee.
Fool
{Aside} You'll be wondrous cunning if you get any.
Well how far have you travelled in doctrineship?
Doctor
From Italy, Titaly, High Germany, France and Spain,
and now am returned to cure the diseases of Old England again.
Fool
So far and no further
Doctor
O yes! a great deal further.
Fool
How far?
Doctor
From the fireside cupboard, upstairs and into bed.
Fool
What diseases can you cure?
Doctor
All sorts?
Fool
What's all sorts?
Doctor
The itch, the stitch, the palsy and the gout.
If a man get nineteen devils in his skull, I'll cast twenty of them out.
I have in my pockets, crutches for lame ducks,
spectacles and panniers for grasshoppers,
and plaisters for broken-backed mice.
I cured Sir Harry of a nang-nail, almost fifty-five yards long,
surely I can cure this poor man.
Here Jack, take a little out of my bottle,
and let it run down thy throttle ;
if thou be not quite slain,
rise, Jack, and fight again.
{Slasher rises.}
Slasher
O my back.
Fool
What's amiss with thy back?
Slasher
My back is wounded,
and my heart is confounded,
To be struck out of seven senses into four-score,
the like was never seen in Old England before.
{Enter St. George}
Slasher
O hark! St. George, I hear the silver trumpet sound,
That summons us from off this bloody ground ;
Farewell, Saint George, we can no longer stay.
Down yonder is the way. {pointing.}
{Exit Slasher, Doctor, and Fool.}
Saint George
I am Saint George, that noble champion bold,
And with my trusty sword I won ten thousand pounds in gold ;
'Twas I that fought the fiery dragon, and brought him to the slaughter,
And by those means I won the King of Egypt's daughter.
{Enter Prince of Paradine}
Prince of Paradine
I am Black Prince of Paradine, born of high renown ;
Soon I will fetch Saint George's lofty courage down!
Before Saint George shall be received by me,
Saint George shall die to all eternity.
Saint George
Stand off, thou black Morocco dog,
or by my sword thou'lt die,
I'll pierce thy body full of holes,
and make thy buttons fly.
Prince of Paradine
Draw out thy sword and slay.
Pull out thy purse and pay,
For I will have recompense,
Before I go away.
Saint George
Now Prince of Paradine, where have you been,
And what fine sights pray have you seen,
Dost think no man of thy age,
Dares such a black as thee engage?
Lay down thy sword, take up to me a spear,
And I'll fight thee without dread or fear.
{They fight, and Prince of Paradine is slain.}
Saint George
Now Prince of Paradine is dead,
And all his joys entirely fled,
Take him and give him to the flies,
Let him no more come near my eyes.
{Enter King of Egypt}
King of Egypt
I am the king of Egypt, as plainly doth appear,
I'm come to seek my son, my son and only heir.
Saint George
He is slain.
King of Egypt
Who did him slay, who did him kill,
And on the ground his precious blood did spill?
Saint George
I did him slay, I did him kill,
And on the ground his precious blood did spill.
Please you, my liege, my honour to maintain,
Had you been there you might have fared the same.
King of Egypt
Cursed Christian! what is this thou'st done?
Thou hast ruined me, and slain my only son.
Saint George
He gave me a challenge, who now it denies?
How high he was, but see how low he lies!
King of Egypt
O Hector! Hector! help me with speed,
For in my life I never stood more need.
{Enter Hector}
King of Egypt
And stand not there with sword in hand,
But rise and fight at my command.
Hector
Yes, yes, my liege, I will obey,
And by my sword I hope to win the day ;
If that be he who doth stand there,
That slew my master's son and heir,
If he be sprung from royal blood,
I'll make it run like Noah's flood,
Saint George
Hold, Hector! do not be so hot,
For here thou know'st not who thou'st got,
For I can tame thee of thy pride,
And lay thine anger too aside ;
Inch thee and cut thee as small as flies,
And send thee over the sea to make mince-pies,
Mince pies hot, and mince pies cold,
I'll send thee to Black Sam before thou'rt three days old,
Hector
How canst thou tame thee of my pride,
And lay mine anger too aside,
Inch me, and cut me as small as flies,
Send me over the sea to make mince pies,
Mince pies hot, and mince pies cold,
How canst thou send me to Black Sam before I'm three days old?
Since my head is made of iron,
My body's made of steel,
My hand and feet of knuckle bone,
I challenge thee to field.
{The fight, and Hector is wounded.}
Hector
I am a valiant knight and Hector is my name,
Many bloody battles have I fought, and always won the same,
But from Saint George I received this bloody wound.
{A trumpet sounds}
Hector
Hark! hark! I hear the silver trumpet sound,
Down yonder is the way, {pointing}
Farewell, Saint George, I can no longer stay.
{Exit}
{Enter Fool to St. George.}
Saint George
Here comes from post, old Bold Ben
Fool
Why, master, did I ever take you to be my friend?
Saint George
Why, Jack, did ever I do thee any harm?
Fool
Thou proud saucy coxcomb, begone!
Saint George
A coxcomb, I defy that name!
With a sword thou ought to be stabbed for the same.
Fool
To be stabbed is the least I fear,
Appoint your time and place, I'll meet you there.
Saint George
I'll cross the water at the hour of five.
And I'll meet you there, Sir, if I be alive.
{Exit}
{Enter Beelzebub}
Beelzebub
Here come I Beelzebub,
And over my shoulders I carry my club,
And in my hand a dripping pan,
And I think myself a jolly old man,
And if you don't believe what I say,
Enter in Devil Doubt, and clear the way.
{Enter Devil Doubt}
Devil Doubt
Here come I, little Devil Doubt,
If you do not give me money I'll sweep you all out ;
Money I want and money I crave,
If you do not give me money, I'll sweep you all to the grave.
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