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North Muskham, Notts. - Plough Monday Play - 1914
The Somercotes Guisers, 1942-1945

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Line North Muskham, Notts. - Plough Monday Play - 1914 The Somercotes Guisers, 1942-1945
1. in comes i that s never been before  
2. there s six more actors at the door  
3. some can dance and some can sing  
4. by your consent they shall come in  
5. hokum pokum france and spain  
6. step in king sergeant once again  
7. in comes i the recruiting sergeant i ve arrived here just now  
8. i ve had orders from the king to list all jolly fellows that follow horse cart or plough  
9. tinkers tailors pedlars nailers chimney sweeps to my advance  
10. the more i hear the fiddler play the better i can dance  
11. faith lad ye dance  
12. i can either dance sing or say  
13. don t die nor fear  
14. in a short time the lady will appear  
15. in comes the lady bright and gay with fortunes and sweet charms  
16. i ve constantly got thrown away right into my lover s arms  
17. he swears that i will wed with him as you may understand  
18. i ve got another sweetheart and along with him i ll go  
19. do you love me polly  
20. yes to be sorry  
21. when shall it be our wedding day  
22. tomorrow will be our wedding day  
23. and we will then repair  
24. unto the bell at edmonton  
25. all in a chaise and pair  
26. in comes i old thrashing blade  
27. i ve thrashed all over england  
28. and i ll thrash you tom  
29. thrash me  
30. yes thrash you  
31. five pounds for a doctor five pounds for a doctor
32. ten to stop away  
33. fifteen to come to muskham to a sad case like this  
34. woa boys woa boys take hold of my horse  
35. take hold of his tail  
36. i ve just come horse back on a pig  
37. give him a good stiff feed of thack pegs  
38. groom him down with a brick  
39. drink with an iron bar  
40. and in comes i the doctor in steps a doctor
41. how became you a doctor and how did st thou become a doctor
42. by my travels by my travels sir
43. where d you travel  
44. england ireland france and spain  
45. and many more nations i can t name  
46. i ve been to york  
47. i ve cured mrs cork  
48. emptied a teapot half full of flour tumbled upstairs  
49. made my stocking leg bleed  
50. i ve been further than that  
51. i ve been to hellamatitty i ve traveled through hitty titty
52. where there s neither land nor city where there s neither land sand sea nor city
53. pigstyes paved with dumplings  
54. houses thatched with pancakes  
55. little pigs running up and down the street little pigs running around
56. with knives and forks in their belly with knives and forks stuck up their backsides
57. crying out who ll eat me shouting out who ll eat me who ll eat me
58. i ve run punch kick at one i took a running kick at one sir
59. knocked him over nineteen hedges and twenty church steeples and kicked it over nine hedges and ten ditches
60. and i broke every back bone he had in his ribs broke every bone in its body except one and a half sir
61. you seem a very clever doctor  
62. please try your skill on this young man  
63. his pulse is very weak  
64. well i ll soon put that right  
65. he s had a wheelbarrow across his chest  
66. and it won t digest  
67. feed him on green taty tops for a week  
68. and give him a good dose of epsom salts  
69. and he ll be quite alright  
70. this man s not dead he s in a trance  
71. rise up young man and let us dance  
72. in comes i old eezum squeezum  
73. on my back i carry my besom  
74. under my arm an old tin pan in my hand a dripping pan
75. don t you think i m a funny old man don t you think i m a jolly old man
76. money i want and money i crave  
77. if you don t give me money i ll sweep you all to the grave  
78. in comes i the little clown  
79. i carry my box under my arm  
80. penny or twopence ll do no harm  
81. sixpence or shilling ll do more good  
82. because it s made of the very best wood  
83. ladies and gentlemen sit down at your ease  
84. put your hands in your pockets and pay what you please  
85. good master and good mistress as you sit by your fire  
86. remember us poor plough lads who plough through mud and mire  
87. the mire it is so very deep and the water runs so clear  
88. we thank you for your christmas box and a gallon of your best beer  
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